Occasionally I am moved to wax poetic on social media. In an effort to bring all such efforts together, I’ll start posting them here as come across them again. Shortly, I will share the one I found today.
Mirror, Mirror, In the Dark
To light a fire I need a spark
I need a candle to light the way
To see me to the break of day
The path I walk, on hidden ground
The air, too cold to feel around
In fear, I work to make it bright
To grant shelter, warmth, and light
To see me to my humble goal
I ignite a bit of my precious soul
For an instant, in a flash
The Mirror gleams, and then a crash
To broken fragments do I reach
The pieces still do lessons teach
An edge too sharp breeds a wicked cut
A surge of pain to break the minds’ old rut
From the wound a gout of blood
And from the eyes, tears fall and flood
The easy answer now broke apart
To be pieced together with a solemn heart
Because Mirror, for an instant I could see
The answer revealed was no more than Me
I see myself as one of the worse types of people: One who buries their head in light of the ills of the world. Problems seem so massive. Corruption is rampant. Violence is as enduring a cultural trait as understanding is for others. This is a lack of respect, seemingly no desire to bridge gaps on a large scale. It has worn on me all my life and I feel diminished that it still stands.
Even when I feel drowned by the tide I still myself. My resources are negligible. My reach is finite. But I do what I can. I show love, respect, and understanding to children in the hope that they spread it in the world after I am gone. If I have the means to help those that cross my path I do. I try to swiftly settle debts and problems that come my way. I feel it is… not enough. But it is what I can do.
I scream. My heart breaks. But one cannot force peace. So I cultivate the fields as I can. Hope. Love. Truth. Balance. In the infinite darkness, I will be Light.
(originally written November 15, 2015)
Born under a blue sky
Held lovingly against my mother
Taught to walk at the ends of my father’s arms
Given the promise of the whole world
Told always the sky is the limit
Memories caked with paint
Blank pages covered in random splotches
Never being concerned with taste
Or staying inside the lines
Purely happy, free, and blissful
Using only my hands to manifest dreams
Stiff and dark, these blue pants
Oft scoffed and more oft loathed
Deemed simple and safe
Formed a rigid mind
Oft contained and more oft freed
Every time the pants changed
Blades in blue blood
A hardened heart
A mind still as a pool
Even stone and water
Can move with quickness and force
Even cold and still
Does the human heart express affection
Blue, representing sorrow
The pain of love unrequited
The agony of love lost
The shattering of a dream
A singular look up reminds me
That blue isn’t sadness
Over open ocean gazes the eyes of the now young man
A sky of promise
Memories painted vividly
The pain of a lifetime
Forever as the waves
Small as a grain of dust
All emotion encompassed
Inside a solitary crystal tear
Deep within your eyes, I sense a dark beauty
The Light of who you were was beauteous enough
Now a taint has added richness to your soul
You are delicate and powerful
Delicate, yet powerful
Your elegant voice sends surges through my being
Your memory causes my rarely beating heart to pulse
With Anticipation and Delight
My mind is drawn to thoughts of you always
To hear your words, to listen to your voice again
To touch your beautiful face
To hold you and feel your warmth
Blurred moments and blue eternities
Are what I long to spend with you
From the time in memories long past
I can remember holding your hand
And My Heart stop and beat insanely
The dazzle and sparkle in your eyes
The pure presence of life you exuded
As then, I want from you all that I cannot see
A lust is held to drink deep from your soul
To know you in the absolute
To share my soul with you
That the universe may be ours together
Now, and beyond the end of time
Just as it is darkest before dawn
My perpetual night always seeks your radiance
Just over the horizon
The thought of you burns brightest
In the dark depths of my heart My Love
What are you really?
You can’t be a normal girl
Born of flesh to be flesh
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Are you a drop of water?
Elegant in motion
Beautiful in its simplicity
Yes, but No
The vast ocean is you
For your darkness and depths hide great beauty
Are you the wind?
Bringing fresh life wherever you go
Unhindered and unchained by the hands of man
Yes, but No
A powerful tornado is you
Destructive, yet completely captivating
Is it that you really are just a girl?
Who, by whatever chance, have a goddesses’ bearing
Or perhaps it was good karma in a past life
Yes, but No
I have yet to see into your soul
But still, I know you are more than a dress and a voice
Without ascending into any kind of celestial being
And having a universal understanding
I can never find the words to describe what I feel from you
But, I can try…
And after much thought, I now know what you truly are
A meteor, a fallen star from the heavens
You came from above eons ago
It was you who obliterated the dinosaurs
You caused the dark cloud that ended them
From the first ray of light that shown through that cloud
Like an angel descending
It was you, like water in a vast desert
But just imagine
If you could rock the world of the great Saurians
Think of what you do to the human race today!
The pain of my soul is overbearing
Where there was once a lush forest and beautiful fields
There is now only desolation and tragedy
I created this place out of the Darkness
But it had no meaning
I made meaning
But in you
Your fires burned bright
Gave new life to an already beautiful creation
Love of an Angel
The True loving heart of a divine entity
Gave light to the broken world
You give your all
Yet still, the world breaks
And You cry the saddest tears of all
This land of desolation
This land of broken spirits
It is my own… at your loss
The Void of Darkness my domain
I faltered and feel, was kick and battered and thrown into the pit
At once I lost all sensation… all awareness of existence
And, with a splash, I returned to reality, I returned to awareness
A great sea in the midst of Darkness… it saved me, held me, gave me something for my mind to feel
It gave me a reason to live
Quickly the sea took me to shore and allowed me rest
Sunrise and sunset over and over again
By the sea was the first light I had seen
The sea would rise and encompass me
It helped heal me
As it receded I would awaken to a peaceful night under peaceful stars
I began to walk with the sea, to swim in it’s waves
The land was foreign
I found shelter with the sea
I would play in the waters, dive it’s depths, return to shore, and rest with it
I learned to hear it’s voice, to hear the words unspoken to me
I could hold the sea in my heart, and we understood each other
We were as lovers, knowing all while nothing was spoken
Twilight would come as it always did, yet the air would change
That which flung me into the dark returned, it sought me still
I ran inland and away from the sea… all that I had known since I awoke in the dark
That which would destroy me still seeks me
I wish, only once, to go back to the sea
But the question is
Would it remember me?
What can I possibly say
To take all your pains away?
What can I do
To forever be near you?
What can I let you see
That will make you believe in me?
Will it be physical?
My strength as the earth?
Will it be through the heart?
Fires that burn to protect and warm?
Will it be the soul?
An ocean of life waiting to be explored?
I am as the planet, waiting to give life and to provide
Will you be the Sun, to give your blazing light?
And as you shine on me, and life grows
All will come to worship and give thanks as I do
And realize the great you do, just by being you
Why is it that I thirst for you?
Why do I have a hunger for you that cannot be sated?
Why do you plague my mind?
Draw from me thoughts of passion and sin?
You who is as one with me…
A part of who I am and always have been…
Even in my confusion you are still there
You awaken in me desire
Why do my insides torment me so at the thought of you
Why does my heart ache to be near you once more?
My Body long again for your touch?
For your eyes to gaze into mine
To see love and fate and have all else fade away?
You draw screeches and cries of torment for every instant I am not near you
You drive me mad with your absence
If it truly makes the heart grow fonder then I have been away too long
For now I am delirious without you