Years ago I was given a Tarot deck, specifically the Osho Zen Tarot deck, by a good friend. In one part to learn the meanings of the cards on an intuitive level I would take a solitary card, read the description, and keep that attribute in mind for a little while. Sometimes hours, sometimes weeks. And then when I felt ready, I would draw a new card. I have long made cryptic posts, so I would share on social media what my Meditative Focus was with no context. And, freed from explaining the source, other elements from my life could be used.

Outside of Tarot I have also done some light studying of Bagua and the I Ching for divination as well. There are eight “elements” for the Bagua. As is the way there is some open interpretation that occurs coming over to English. My present focus comes from this. In my original studies I came to identify “trigrams”, simple pictures comprised of a mix three solid and unbroken lines. If read from the top down, one unbroken and two solid lines represents “Marsh”. A mix of Water and Earth, it can be treacherous. Too heavy to swim through, too fluid to walk on. One cannot build on it and one is hard pressed to destroy it. Rushing headlong into it can completely sap your strength to no avail. To make it through one must be diligent and deliberate, but careful as threats can lay unseen.

I have been working hard the past month or so to fashion a key to a new door on my life. A broader hope is to close the door on live I’ve lived for the past ten years or so. I do not regret, but it is possible to live a better life than I have.

I have lusted and lost, loved and lost, and fashioned my life anew many times. But the changes have not stuck. All is well for a little while, then I lose hold of the reigns or my footing disappears and I falter gravely. I have lost good friends, good homes, and a treasure trove of old books and personal writings. I have lived in the world and it has molded me more than the other way around. I might be called cynical. It has not always been easy.

But…

It has been good. There are many bright spots. I have grown up and learned to be self reliant. I have met a great many people and a good segment of them are valued friends. I have grown closer to many that I thought would be forgotten. I have at least one good friend internationally, and plans to go and visit. I have even helped begin a local tradition that continues on without me. I even have Love.

I do not know what life will bring me in the next ten years, whether it will be just a paragraph or an epic series. I do not know what my voice will be going forward in my endeavors. But for the times in which I doubt and find myself in a mire of misery again I will find the good. The water may be brackish but I will not die of thirst. They may be odd to eat, but there may be roots aplenty. I can cover myself in mud to try to beat the heat of the sun.

Meditate. Focus. Even in the Marsh, there is a path. Unseen and muddled, there is a path to your goals. It is my hope you find it easier than I have, and that your path out is shorter. Do not forget to draw in what is unique, and let these experience add richness to you that would come from nowhere else.

Always do what you can.

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