For days now I’ve been struggling to fashion some type of response to the stories of police brutality in Ferguson, MO and New York. I find myself wholly unable to do so. It loses cohesion very quickly. I am enraged, disappointed, surprised. I am not scared for myself, but worried that the price of my life is a misunderstanding or perceived threat. I am scared for everyone I know and love (everyone reading this and then some to clarify). There are officers who are to serve and protect who are killing their charges. The issue of race is a factor, but it is not my focus. I worry about everyone.

I was asked my opinions on Ferguson. I told them that I didn’t have anything concrete because I didn’t know “the truth”. There are many sides to that story, many testimonies, and I did not know them all. I could not accurately weigh the scenario for judgment. Seeing the video with the former Mr. Garner in it, it seemed straightforward. Even so, the outcome was the same.

I have been regarded my whole life as “not Black” by how I carry myself. This from all walks of life, but the loudest from other Black Americans. What I think, how I speak, the way in which I am both prideful and well mannered. When people find out where I am from, there is shock that “a ghetto” could produce me. Even still, my life is just as fragile as my Black brothers, White sister, Tan cousins… Any and all however they self-identify. We are ALL at risk I feel.

I was young when I first admitted something was wrong with this world. I have spent twenty years observing and learning. Seeing the world for what it is, and living as a being that made the world better. My range is small, but I do what good I can.

I see the negativity of the world, naked as a newborn. I will choose Love and be Love for every entity that child touches, until it is surrounded by nothing but Love. And as it adapts to the surroundings and becomes Love in kind, I will seek to understand what brought it forth. If we do not know the history it is certain to be repeated.

Even if forged with Hellfire and tempered in innocent blood, a sword is a tool that the wielder must choose how to use. No weapon corrupts the holder, but all hearts can purify the implement.

I think that is all I have for now.

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