Meditative Focus: A Soul Defiant

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          I see myself as one of the worse types of people: One who buries their head in light of the ills of the world. Problems seem so massive. Corruption is rampant. Violence is as enduring a cultural trait as understanding is for others. This is a lack of respect, seemingly no desire to bridge gaps on a large scale. It has worn on me all my life and I feel diminished that it still stands.

          Even when I feel drowned by the tide I still myself. My resources are negligible. My reach is finite. But I do what I can. I show love, respect, and understanding to children in the hope that they spread it in the world after I am gone. If I have the means to help those that cross my path I do. I try to swiftly settle debts and problems that come my way. I feel it is… not enough. But it is what I can do.

          I scream. My heart breaks. But one cannot force peace. So I cultivate the fields as I can. Hope. Love. Truth. Balance. In the infinite darkness, I will be Light.

(originally written November 15, 2015)

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Getting Started… Tomorrow

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          National Novel Writing Month has been in full swing. So have I, to be honest, which is why I didn’t jump right on it. I aim to average 2,000 words a day. If I can meet that I have just enough time for the 50,000 goal. Ordinarily I like to keep my buffer days spread throughout the month for when I need a break or for feasting. Such is life that they were used up front. I am not overly concerned with not meeting the goals. I have been writing consistently, and will keep at it. I do think I will change my monthly schedule up.

          For now, food and rest. Tomorrow will be the first of many busy days.

Meditative Focus: Resolution

I was not a good person in the past.

Many people remember me favorably, but I remember much in the way of poor choices that I have made. I have spent the past few weeks in a dour funk because of it. My dreams at night have been the ills and agonies I’ve inflicted.

          I think, in many cases, we cannot truly make up for the past. Wounds do not heal perfectly. All I can do is identify what I did wrong. As I hold those acts in my being that do not sit well with me. Due to this, I can ensure to greater measure that at least I don’t cause the same hurts again.

          I am not perfect.

          While I love a good redemption story, there is never really any end. At times the best thing I can do is to exit peoples’ lives and remove myself from situations. At others, I am obligated to fix what I broke.

          I was once pleased with myself and my life. Looking back at those periods now I see how much came at the expense of others. I am afraid that I owe more than I can repay, and I still must go through life hat in hand.

All I can resolve going forward is to be better, and to do what I can.

 

This, and Next, Month

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          I did not complete all the articles I wished to for October. So it goes. I will hammer them out as I can, and update hub pages accordingly. November marks the beginning of National Novel Writing Month. I have participated in years’ past but I am presently uncertain if I will be able to commit to it in full this year. However, I do need to work on my own fiction again, so either way something will be produced.

          For those that enjoy one prong of my work more than others, thank you for being patient as I hone in on other facets. It is my hope that starting in January I can have a few writing days a week. If I can manage that I think I can get caught up on much of my backlog and even make advances in other areas.

          In any case, wherever you read, I hope you do so happily.

Feelings and Civil Disobedience

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          “Never delve into the comments section” is an internet commandment I hold powerfully to. It has saved me a lot of headaches. The reasoning is that any arguments that ensue, which seem to be inevitable, go nowhere. Everyone has their stances. And like any beginner martial artist, people lock into their stances too rigidly. It is very rare that people come away from these exchanges any better off. Or, I should say, it is limited to particular communities in which growth occurs.

Recently I broke my rule. Continue reading

Back to the Grind

          My move finally happened. With it came the inevitable slow down of my work. But I am set up and comfortable, and I’m already about done with two articles with a series in the works. This will be on the series side, speaking on real life issues. But I think I’ve found a few good highlights to finish on as well. With National Novel Writing Month imminent, I have a lot of work to do in a little time.

Benign Singularly, Dangerous in Aggregate

          To be fair in any proceeding I try look with as fresh of a perspective as I can. I then try to gain every iota of information I can. I listen to every perspective, and whatever decision I come to I accept as temporary until I discover more information. After that I put it in my brain with all the other informed decisions I’ve made. There comes to be a problem when I open that box and find that many issues hold more similarities than not.
Continue reading

Race

          I am going to be expounding my views on this topic, at length, while I hone a working framework for my social commentary writing. Out of all the headlining topics of the day I have the greatest foothold in issues concerning Race. Due to all I have lived, it is “easiest”. I want to be past this issue more than most people. I am not going to do that in seclusion. As such, I will share my thoughts here.

          One of my hang ups with all social discussions is context. Even though we live in a time where news cycles run ceaselessly, it does this with clips, soundbites, and excerpts. As such, I will aim to provide as much context as I can. If I can share what has added to a given Truth, that can be balanced out rather than just nebulously debated.

          This may sound strange to many but I find that the Truth simply Is. It is stranger than fiction because it does not need to make sense. Two facts can exist in opposition and still be true and equally valid. There will be times I contradict myself. There will be times I am not at all cohesive. I’ll have the good sense to go back to editing until sense can be relayed. I will give you this; I will ALWAYS be honest. It is the only way I can look back with pride.

          A mistake I have made in my societal commentary writings in the past is that I have tried to write a definitive article. I wrote in such a way that I aimed to not go over the topic again. This put strain on me as I tried to cover all facets at once. If my articles seem open ended this is why. Realistically, no solution will take root AND bear fruit all at the same time.

          This is not going to be comfortable for me. However, it is necessary for me I think. If this matter concerns you personally I hope that you will see that you are not alone. If you are able to stand apart from such discussions, I hope me relaying my experiences will show where the collective angst comes from. For myself, I aim to find a greater peace and actionable solutions. I also want to find some joy in this series too.